I'll Be Next to you and You'll Be Right there Next to Me

So, in an attempt to not have only one post in October...here we go.
My cat just farted on me.

Sometimes I feel like things are looking up. For the most part everything is ok, but I keep hitting these giant bumps in the road that are driving me crazy. But I have amazing friends and an awesome boyfriend and a roof over my head so maybe I should just stop complaining all the time. I came to the conclusion the other day that I am sending way too much negative energy out into the universe, and that could possibly be my problem.
I will work on this.

Halloween is my favorite holiday ever. I love dressing up, especially with a bunch of people who also love to dress up. Last night was the annual drumline Halloween party. Stockboy (who probably needs a new name for a few reasons) and I were Peter Pan and Tinker bell, the dark versions. Gay lover #1 and her boy were Buddy Zombie and Mary Tyler Gore. Super amazing. And Gay Lover #2 and two of our friends were the powerpuff girls. Super cute. The party was pretty fun. It was cold outside though, and that's not very good when you're wearing a tiny dress.

I'm hungry.

Bestie is going to have a baby. I'm kind of excited for her, because I know she will be a great mommy. I'm not completely sure how she feels about it yet, because baby daddy isn't completely on board, but I told her I'd be her baby daddy. And she still has a while to completely be happy about it.

Stockboy <3 <3 <3
So, a new name for him because
1. He isn't a stock boy anymore.
2. He is way too important to have a name like that.
3. He is definitely something different to me than just a stock boy.
So...Lover? Love? My love? SuperLoverBoy. Indeed.

So SuperLoverBoy and I are amazing :))))
Reasons I cannot quite disclose yet. Super top secret until a date in the future when they will be shouted to the world.
*

:Poetic Moment:
Wipe my tears
and hold me tight
There's nothing more I want
Than to be with you tonight

:Quote:
You're wondering if I want you to
I want you to
I swear it's true
Without you
My heart is blue.
GO!

:Picture:

Home is Where the Heart is

In my fiction class, my teacher was talking about origins and people writing about where they're from. Then she asked everyone in the class where the consider themselves to be from. Some said Texas. Some said specific cities like Dallas or Houston. Others were from other states like California or Kansas. Well...I didn't really feel like I had an answer. I lived in Utah for ten years, and now I live in Texas. I spent eight years in Alvarado for school, and now I'm in Fort Worth for school. But I don't necessarily consider any of those places to be "where I'm from." So where am I from?
I'm from my mom's house, wherever that may be at the time. I've lived in three different places with my mom. The brown duplex I remember even though I was only two. That house with the maple tree on Chatterleigh road.  And now in the homesteads. I'm from my family and where I feel comfortable. Whether that be some random place with friends, the apartment with Bestie, or chillin in Gay Lover #1's room. I'm from wherever I'm talking about when I say "I want to go home."

I'm kind of hating my life right now. Everything keeps going wrong and my stuff keeps turning up missing. This time it's my house keys. What. The. Fuck. Who steals house keys and leaves the truck keys? Especially when they don't where the fuck I live and my truck is in the goddamn parking lot. Then I realize that Crazy Lady had some of my shit before she moved out and now I'll probably never see it again. I feel like there's no point anymore. All I do is wake up and do the same shit I did the day before and it never adds up to anything.
I'm a mouse in a maze looking for the cheese, but the scientists forgot to put it at the finish line.

And I don't know what I keep doing wrong. I feel like such a fuck up and I can't ever do anything right. Not even with Stockboy. Like right now...I have no idea what I did wrong...but I feel like everything is messed up. And I just want to know what's going through his head, but if I ask, he says nothing and he says he's fine..But I don't know. Because he's being...different. I don't know how to explain it, but I feel like everything is just off and the only answer is for me to jump off a bridge.
*

:Poetic Moment:
What a world we live in
Where everything gets handed to those
Who don't deserve it

:Quote:
Click your heels together three times
And go fuck yourself

:Picture: