I'm stubborn. When I know I'm right, you will hear me until you know I'm right too. I won't admit when I'm wrong though. I won't say anything and I'll just sit and let you be right.
Sometimes (most of the time) I just want to be lazy. Later on I wish I would have utilized my time, but instead I chilled on the computer for a few hours. I'm trying to be better about it by making daily check lists. I don't want my life to waste away in front of a computer screen. But don't be mad when I still just sit around. I like it and I don't get mad when you do things you like.
I hold grudges. Forever. It's like if I lived in Japan, they would make a movie about the way I can keep my hate bottled up for one person. Because that's the way it is. If you fuck me over and I hate you, I will hate you forever. I will never forgive you and I will probably come back to haunt you. There's no going back. You could give me a million dollars and it still wouldn't chane anything.
But then again, if you've only made me a little mad or upset, I forgive and forget as soon as you say you're sorry. Especially if you're important to me. As long as you don't make me hate you, you're in the clear.
A girl I went to high school with got married a few days ago. She got engaged in December. Makes me wonder about the rush. If she wasn't such a sincerely nice Christian girl, I would suspect pregnancy. But that can't be the case here. It also makes me jealous. I just want SuperLoverBoy and i to have a nice wedding (ten months from now) but every time I try to plan I get sad at how much everything costs and I know we can't afford it. I hate that money is the reason I have to deal with second best to what I want. The dress I want, the place I want etc. It's just frustrating. Especially since we're not really having money troubles anymore. We just can't save as much as some stuff costs.
I want to take online classes so I'm not a semester behind anymore. I might do them over the summer. I think they start in April. Through TCC. I can transfer the credits to TCU in the fall...if I can go back in the fall. Maybe I'll get the scholarship I slaved over. I hope so. I'm good enough. If i don't...well I guess I'll just take classes at TCC. I can still be in marching band that way. And if I take online classes I can work except for band stuff. I'll miss TBS...but there's not much I can do about that.
*
:Poetic Moment:
You are my heart
You are the air I breath
You are my everything
:Quote:
Can I be the only hope for you
Because you're the only hope for me
:Picture:
Well, I guess there will be no picture because it won't load. It was a very cute picture of a license plate that said turtle.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Technologically Challenged
So, I'm totally posting this from my cell phone right now. I feel cool. Even though I am aware that this does not make me cool. Haha.
Today i have spent very little time doing anything besides playing with my phone and yelling at my cat. My cat is in heat. She's very annoying. haha. She also enjoys climbing on my window sill and knocking things over. Not cool. Not cool at all.
I love my man. Just wanted to throw that out there. I can't wait until were married. I don't know what i would do without him.
I just realized that not all of my I's are getting capitalized...hmmm...oh well.
I think that will be all for this short entry.
*
No poetic moment or quote
:Picture:
Today i have spent very little time doing anything besides playing with my phone and yelling at my cat. My cat is in heat. She's very annoying. haha. She also enjoys climbing on my window sill and knocking things over. Not cool. Not cool at all.
I love my man. Just wanted to throw that out there. I can't wait until were married. I don't know what i would do without him.
I just realized that not all of my I's are getting capitalized...hmmm...oh well.
I think that will be all for this short entry.
*
No poetic moment or quote
:Picture:
Sunday, February 13, 2011
This World, it is Filled with Hate
I have a great skill. I can complain about anything. And if I really get going, I can complain all day long. Sometimes I just like to rant about anything and everything to anyone that will listen. I know it's kind of dumb, but ranting does make me feel better.
There are a few things that I hate without any real reason.
The first is people. I'm not saying that I hate everyone, I just hate types of people that I come in contact with throughout my day.
Example #1: The Stupid Parent
First, if you go to a store with three children under the age of five, you probably shouldn't let the start running around. No matter how small the store is. One kid hid and it took the mom an hour and half to find him. And he's DONE THIS BEFORE. Put the kid in your buggy and call it good.
Also, if one runs off and you go to chase them, another will run off in the opposite direction, screaming and laughing.
If you buy one kid a toy, you better fucking buy them all a toy or there will be screaming. Especially when one wants a balloon, and then the next one wants a balloon and then so does the other one. Come on, be fair.
If your kids start acting like idiots, hurry up and leave. Do not, however, just start screaming at them about how they don't know how to act in public and say you're going to leave them. Obviously, you don't know how to act in public either.
If your child is being potty trained, but has not quite grasped the concept, make them wear a diaper when you go shopping. Do not let your little girl pee on the floor in the store! And then steal a pair of underwear for her to put on. I mean, seriously.
If you give your kid a dollar to get a toy, please remember there is tax. Don't get all pissed off when I said $1.08 and they just hand me the dollar and stare at you. Or if they don't know how much a dollar is and just grab a toy that ends up being three or four dollars. Maybe you should have picked the toy for them.
Example #2: The People That think they can Do your Job Better
This ranges from customers to coworkers.
If there is a display that says "Home Decor 40% Off" and all of the stuff has little red stickers on it, the red sticker tells you how much it is. Do not come to the counter to ask how much it is. We will tell you it is the price on the red sticker. Do not then tell us that "NO! It's 40% off that price." Because we will just tell you "No, it's 40% off the original price." Seriously, do not continue to argue with us after that, because we are more aware of the markdowns than you are. Why? Because we had to put those little red stickers on there.
If coffee has gone up in price over a dollar in the past seven months, don't expect it to just stay there and wait for you to buy it at that price. The price will continue to go up. And when you bring it to the counter, don't complain that it's gone up another big twenty five cents and you're only buying it at that price because you don't want to go somewhere else and then tell me that I need to change the signs since the price changed. Tell me that once, ok. Don't keep ranting on about how I need to do it. I know how to do my job, thanks.
If you are in your forties and you start a new job where there are younger people above you, don't get pissy and judgmental. Don't think you know better than them just because you're older. Don't think you are better at your job just because you're older. Okay, you're older. However, you've worked there for three weeks and still haven't quite grasped the basics of what you should be doing. I've worked there for almost a year and have a higher ranking position in the company. Don't backtalk me when I tell you to do something or the correct way to do something. Just do it.
Example #3: The old Lady that Tries to be the young Lady
I only have one person to talk about here, but she comes in to the store a lot so it's a frequent occurrence. She's about fifty I'd say and she dresses like a sorostitute would. Leggings instead of pants and long shirts. Leggings and long dressy shirts. Bulky belts over her long shirts. It's awkward and she needs to stop.
Example #4: The Shove my Religion Down your Throat People
There are two old fat guys that come in to the store a lot. One of them used to come in to subway when I worked there. Every time they're in there, they hand me a little pamphlet that is called "Facts to Face" with a puzzled piece on it. It's some blah blah blah about Jesus and stuff like that. I wouldn't mind it so much if they'd only given it to me once, but one of the guys recognizes me now and knows that he's given it to me about ten times, and yet...do I just look like a crazy sinner or something? Does standing there in my red t-shirt and jeans scream "I need to be saved, give me another pamphlet!"? I don't think so. He goes on and on about how it's "good news" and that I should "pass it on." Seriously dude, if I haven't shown up at your church yet, I'm not going to.
Example #5: The Foodstamp Brigade/Stingy People
If you're poor and really need foodstamps, this is totally not aimed at you. This is more towards the people that come in with seven kids or more (obviously not all their own since usually some are different races), tells them to go pick out some junk food (as much as they want, and don't forget a soda), and then pays for it on their foodstamp card. Abusing the power part one. Now here comes the part that annoys me. The kids, already snacking down on whatever they picked, complain about wanting to leave as the foodstamps card is DENIED. They don't have enough money left on it. No problem, sometimes they have cash to cover the rest. But then sometimes they don't and there is a whole line of people behind them waiting for them to figure out what to do seeing as how the kids have opened the chips, candy, soda etc. already and it can no longer be given back. So, they stand there all depressed until someone else in line (for some reason) offers to pay the rest.
Now, if you're poor and use foodstamps, but also buy your other stuff at the same time, you should know that after foodstamps goes through you have to pay the rest another way. By the way, Monster Energy Drinks do not go on foodstamps. Oh, and another thing, the price for something next to what you grab, is not the price for what you grabbed. Don't make excuses to get things cheaper, just cough up your damn five dollars because I see that twenty in your wallet. If you don't want to pay it, don't buy fucking energy drinks. Last I checked, those weren't necessities anyway.
Example #6: My Boss
I've decided that since she hates me for no reason, I'll hate her for no reason too.
Last week it snowed and iced. Well, because of this thick sheet of ice covering the parking lot of my apartment and the street in front of it, I called in to work and said I wouldn't be able to make it. Apparently we aren't allowed to miss work because it is impossible to be there. Apparently, we are like the "post office" and "just have to be there." This is what my boss told me. It seems that spinning and sliding the whole way is what I should have done because Family Dollar is the post office. Except, last I checked, we weren't closed on holidays or Sundays. Hmm...I guess we're actually not like the post office.
Well, I think that's all that has been festering in the past few days.
I'm kind of tired of work right now I guess. Being there everyday with the same repeat customers starts to get to you after awhile.
*
:Poetic Moment:
If only I could say
What is really on my mind
To put you dumb ass people
Right back in your place
:Quote:
Never give a party
If you will be the most
Interesting person there
:Picture:
There are a few things that I hate without any real reason.
The first is people. I'm not saying that I hate everyone, I just hate types of people that I come in contact with throughout my day.
Example #1: The Stupid Parent
First, if you go to a store with three children under the age of five, you probably shouldn't let the start running around. No matter how small the store is. One kid hid and it took the mom an hour and half to find him. And he's DONE THIS BEFORE. Put the kid in your buggy and call it good.
Also, if one runs off and you go to chase them, another will run off in the opposite direction, screaming and laughing.
If you buy one kid a toy, you better fucking buy them all a toy or there will be screaming. Especially when one wants a balloon, and then the next one wants a balloon and then so does the other one. Come on, be fair.
If your kids start acting like idiots, hurry up and leave. Do not, however, just start screaming at them about how they don't know how to act in public and say you're going to leave them. Obviously, you don't know how to act in public either.
If your child is being potty trained, but has not quite grasped the concept, make them wear a diaper when you go shopping. Do not let your little girl pee on the floor in the store! And then steal a pair of underwear for her to put on. I mean, seriously.
If you give your kid a dollar to get a toy, please remember there is tax. Don't get all pissed off when I said $1.08 and they just hand me the dollar and stare at you. Or if they don't know how much a dollar is and just grab a toy that ends up being three or four dollars. Maybe you should have picked the toy for them.
Example #2: The People That think they can Do your Job Better
This ranges from customers to coworkers.
If there is a display that says "Home Decor 40% Off" and all of the stuff has little red stickers on it, the red sticker tells you how much it is. Do not come to the counter to ask how much it is. We will tell you it is the price on the red sticker. Do not then tell us that "NO! It's 40% off that price." Because we will just tell you "No, it's 40% off the original price." Seriously, do not continue to argue with us after that, because we are more aware of the markdowns than you are. Why? Because we had to put those little red stickers on there.
If coffee has gone up in price over a dollar in the past seven months, don't expect it to just stay there and wait for you to buy it at that price. The price will continue to go up. And when you bring it to the counter, don't complain that it's gone up another big twenty five cents and you're only buying it at that price because you don't want to go somewhere else and then tell me that I need to change the signs since the price changed. Tell me that once, ok. Don't keep ranting on about how I need to do it. I know how to do my job, thanks.
If you are in your forties and you start a new job where there are younger people above you, don't get pissy and judgmental. Don't think you know better than them just because you're older. Don't think you are better at your job just because you're older. Okay, you're older. However, you've worked there for three weeks and still haven't quite grasped the basics of what you should be doing. I've worked there for almost a year and have a higher ranking position in the company. Don't backtalk me when I tell you to do something or the correct way to do something. Just do it.
Example #3: The old Lady that Tries to be the young Lady
I only have one person to talk about here, but she comes in to the store a lot so it's a frequent occurrence. She's about fifty I'd say and she dresses like a sorostitute would. Leggings instead of pants and long shirts. Leggings and long dressy shirts. Bulky belts over her long shirts. It's awkward and she needs to stop.
Example #4: The Shove my Religion Down your Throat People
There are two old fat guys that come in to the store a lot. One of them used to come in to subway when I worked there. Every time they're in there, they hand me a little pamphlet that is called "Facts to Face" with a puzzled piece on it. It's some blah blah blah about Jesus and stuff like that. I wouldn't mind it so much if they'd only given it to me once, but one of the guys recognizes me now and knows that he's given it to me about ten times, and yet...do I just look like a crazy sinner or something? Does standing there in my red t-shirt and jeans scream "I need to be saved, give me another pamphlet!"? I don't think so. He goes on and on about how it's "good news" and that I should "pass it on." Seriously dude, if I haven't shown up at your church yet, I'm not going to.
Example #5: The Foodstamp Brigade/Stingy People
If you're poor and really need foodstamps, this is totally not aimed at you. This is more towards the people that come in with seven kids or more (obviously not all their own since usually some are different races), tells them to go pick out some junk food (as much as they want, and don't forget a soda), and then pays for it on their foodstamp card. Abusing the power part one. Now here comes the part that annoys me. The kids, already snacking down on whatever they picked, complain about wanting to leave as the foodstamps card is DENIED. They don't have enough money left on it. No problem, sometimes they have cash to cover the rest. But then sometimes they don't and there is a whole line of people behind them waiting for them to figure out what to do seeing as how the kids have opened the chips, candy, soda etc. already and it can no longer be given back. So, they stand there all depressed until someone else in line (for some reason) offers to pay the rest.
Now, if you're poor and use foodstamps, but also buy your other stuff at the same time, you should know that after foodstamps goes through you have to pay the rest another way. By the way, Monster Energy Drinks do not go on foodstamps. Oh, and another thing, the price for something next to what you grab, is not the price for what you grabbed. Don't make excuses to get things cheaper, just cough up your damn five dollars because I see that twenty in your wallet. If you don't want to pay it, don't buy fucking energy drinks. Last I checked, those weren't necessities anyway.
Example #6: My Boss
I've decided that since she hates me for no reason, I'll hate her for no reason too.
Last week it snowed and iced. Well, because of this thick sheet of ice covering the parking lot of my apartment and the street in front of it, I called in to work and said I wouldn't be able to make it. Apparently we aren't allowed to miss work because it is impossible to be there. Apparently, we are like the "post office" and "just have to be there." This is what my boss told me. It seems that spinning and sliding the whole way is what I should have done because Family Dollar is the post office. Except, last I checked, we weren't closed on holidays or Sundays. Hmm...I guess we're actually not like the post office.
Well, I think that's all that has been festering in the past few days.
I'm kind of tired of work right now I guess. Being there everyday with the same repeat customers starts to get to you after awhile.
*
:Poetic Moment:
If only I could say
What is really on my mind
To put you dumb ass people
Right back in your place
:Quote:
Never give a party
If you will be the most
Interesting person there
:Picture:
Friday, January 7, 2011
And This is Where I Spill My Guts
I'm never going to catch a break.
I can feel like things are starting to go my way, and then I get pushed back down.
And I'm tired.
Work starts going good again. I'm getting plenty of hours and maybe a raise soon. All positive, right? But why does the DM hate me? Why does she find any way to put me down? Why can everyone else answer their cell phone from time to time, but the second I do it's, "If I see you with your phone again, you're fired"? What the fuck is that? ASM can answer her phone. Oh, but it's her husband. That makes it different. No it fucking doesn't. I answer the phone if it's my fiance. How is that any different from husband? I would understand if all I did all day was talk on my phone, but I don't. I bust my ass for that store, and they fucking know it. DM thinks I'm just some stupid teenager with a job. Princess is the stupid teenager with a job. I'm an adult. I have a job because I have bills and responsibilities, not because I'm bored. But it's like DM has it all backwards. She LOVES Princess, but hates me. What the fuck? I really like working there, but she is driving me crazy.
School. Well. It's school. I did not so good last semester because I was trying to balance two part time jobs and a full load of classes. But I can get over that. I got C's in classes that don't really matter, and the rest were good grades. What I can't get over is that I may not be going back. I owe $3,000 and some change for last semester. Until I pay that, I can't register for this coming semester. Which starts on Monday. So basically...I'm not registering. I don't have that money, my parents don't have that money, and no one I know has that money. I don't have some rich relative, or a nice friend. Nope. And the only thing that makes this situation worse is that I don't know anyone with good enough credit to cosign on my student loan. Or, I if I do know them, they won't do it for one reason or another. But I feel like I want to tell them it's all their fault that I will be a college drop out. Because I can't even transfer. I can't get my transcript until the money is paid! What a predicament I find myself in. I guess I'll just work at Family Dollar full time. No big deal. I didn't want to be a writer anyway.
So what's keeping me going? My friends and fiance. I know they won't abandon me. Especially since Gay Lover #2 isn't coming back to TCU this semester. She's in my situation. She at least has figured out something. Her major is offered other places. If mine was, I would have already transfered, at least for a semester or two. But I'm lost. If only I can win the scholarship I applied for. Junior and Senior year free. Then I would only have to figure out the 3k for this semester and whatever I need for next semester. But I need to figure out the 3k within the next two days or I'm just shit out of luck.
Super Lover Boy makes me feel better, though. I know he'll always love me, and I will always love him. I'm excited for our future together. Today I had a glimpse at it. We were sitting in the living room. He was watching a movie and I was reading, but we were still close and connected. And when I rambled on about the book, he actually listened to me. He didn't call me a nerd or sort of pay attention. He smiled at me and said something about how enthusiastic I was about reading the book (which, I guess was a nice way of calling me a nerd, but I liked it).
He makes me so happy.
Who has 3k they want to give me?
*
:Poetic Moment:
And with all of them
Out there, standing so tall
Tell me now
Right here, why I feel so small
:Quote:
A pessimist is a person
Who looks both ways
Before crossing
A one way road.
:Picture:
I can feel like things are starting to go my way, and then I get pushed back down.
And I'm tired.
Work starts going good again. I'm getting plenty of hours and maybe a raise soon. All positive, right? But why does the DM hate me? Why does she find any way to put me down? Why can everyone else answer their cell phone from time to time, but the second I do it's, "If I see you with your phone again, you're fired"? What the fuck is that? ASM can answer her phone. Oh, but it's her husband. That makes it different. No it fucking doesn't. I answer the phone if it's my fiance. How is that any different from husband? I would understand if all I did all day was talk on my phone, but I don't. I bust my ass for that store, and they fucking know it. DM thinks I'm just some stupid teenager with a job. Princess is the stupid teenager with a job. I'm an adult. I have a job because I have bills and responsibilities, not because I'm bored. But it's like DM has it all backwards. She LOVES Princess, but hates me. What the fuck? I really like working there, but she is driving me crazy.
School. Well. It's school. I did not so good last semester because I was trying to balance two part time jobs and a full load of classes. But I can get over that. I got C's in classes that don't really matter, and the rest were good grades. What I can't get over is that I may not be going back. I owe $3,000 and some change for last semester. Until I pay that, I can't register for this coming semester. Which starts on Monday. So basically...I'm not registering. I don't have that money, my parents don't have that money, and no one I know has that money. I don't have some rich relative, or a nice friend. Nope. And the only thing that makes this situation worse is that I don't know anyone with good enough credit to cosign on my student loan. Or, I if I do know them, they won't do it for one reason or another. But I feel like I want to tell them it's all their fault that I will be a college drop out. Because I can't even transfer. I can't get my transcript until the money is paid! What a predicament I find myself in. I guess I'll just work at Family Dollar full time. No big deal. I didn't want to be a writer anyway.
So what's keeping me going? My friends and fiance. I know they won't abandon me. Especially since Gay Lover #2 isn't coming back to TCU this semester. She's in my situation. She at least has figured out something. Her major is offered other places. If mine was, I would have already transfered, at least for a semester or two. But I'm lost. If only I can win the scholarship I applied for. Junior and Senior year free. Then I would only have to figure out the 3k for this semester and whatever I need for next semester. But I need to figure out the 3k within the next two days or I'm just shit out of luck.
Super Lover Boy makes me feel better, though. I know he'll always love me, and I will always love him. I'm excited for our future together. Today I had a glimpse at it. We were sitting in the living room. He was watching a movie and I was reading, but we were still close and connected. And when I rambled on about the book, he actually listened to me. He didn't call me a nerd or sort of pay attention. He smiled at me and said something about how enthusiastic I was about reading the book (which, I guess was a nice way of calling me a nerd, but I liked it).
He makes me so happy.
Who has 3k they want to give me?
*
:Poetic Moment:
And with all of them
Out there, standing so tall
Tell me now
Right here, why I feel so small
:Quote:
A pessimist is a person
Who looks both ways
Before crossing
A one way road.
:Picture:
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Where Has it All Gone?
Well, November flew by without an update.
So, here's one that will hopefully make up for it.
Ever since Family Dollar started carrying Christmas decorations, I wanted to decorate the apartment. So, we now have stockings. One for Bestie, one for SuperLoverBoy, one for me, and one for Special Kitty. And then we acquired lights for the balcony, a wreath for the door, and a tree with ornaments and garland. Pretty pretty. I love Christmas decorations. We also have a little village on top of our TV. Exciting.
TCU went undefeated, 12-0 and we are going to the Rose Bowl!!! So excited. The hotel for the band is in downtown LA. And it's only a 30 minute drive from Kat Von D's Tattoo studio. That's right. Be jealous. I'm so excited. I've never been to California. I think it will be so cool. I might see famous people. Haha. And our hotel is attached to a mall. No walking a mile to eat like we did last year. Rooming with Gay Lovers #1 and #2 and my Daughter. Super fun.
Oh, and by the way, SuperLoverBoy and I are now engaged :)))))))
That's another reason he needed a better name than just Stockboy.
And we're going to get married January 7, 2012. I'm so happy. Loving life. Loving him. And yea :))) Just big smiles all the time. It makes problems seem less important.
The semester is almost over. It feels like it went by super fast or something. It's fine though. The classes I took were so grueling. I can't wait to be done with them. I need some better classes to make me love school again. At least one good writing class will do the trick I think. If only I could register...but my financial hold is still in place so whatever. Trying to get that taken care of, but it's hard going.
I'm hungry, but my tummy has also been hurting a lot lately. Gah.
Happy days :)) I just want to start planning and being all girly and try on dresses and blah blah etc. etc. Hehe. <3
*
:Poetic Moment:
And I know it's right
And I know it's true
Because I still get butterflies
When I look at you
<3
:Quote:
Love doesn't make
The world go round.
Love is what makes
The ride worthwhile.
:Picture:
So, here's one that will hopefully make up for it.
Ever since Family Dollar started carrying Christmas decorations, I wanted to decorate the apartment. So, we now have stockings. One for Bestie, one for SuperLoverBoy, one for me, and one for Special Kitty. And then we acquired lights for the balcony, a wreath for the door, and a tree with ornaments and garland. Pretty pretty. I love Christmas decorations. We also have a little village on top of our TV. Exciting.
TCU went undefeated, 12-0 and we are going to the Rose Bowl!!! So excited. The hotel for the band is in downtown LA. And it's only a 30 minute drive from Kat Von D's Tattoo studio. That's right. Be jealous. I'm so excited. I've never been to California. I think it will be so cool. I might see famous people. Haha. And our hotel is attached to a mall. No walking a mile to eat like we did last year. Rooming with Gay Lovers #1 and #2 and my Daughter. Super fun.
Oh, and by the way, SuperLoverBoy and I are now engaged :)))))))
That's another reason he needed a better name than just Stockboy.
And we're going to get married January 7, 2012. I'm so happy. Loving life. Loving him. And yea :))) Just big smiles all the time. It makes problems seem less important.
The semester is almost over. It feels like it went by super fast or something. It's fine though. The classes I took were so grueling. I can't wait to be done with them. I need some better classes to make me love school again. At least one good writing class will do the trick I think. If only I could register...but my financial hold is still in place so whatever. Trying to get that taken care of, but it's hard going.
I'm hungry, but my tummy has also been hurting a lot lately. Gah.
Happy days :)) I just want to start planning and being all girly and try on dresses and blah blah etc. etc. Hehe. <3
*
:Poetic Moment:
And I know it's right
And I know it's true
Because I still get butterflies
When I look at you
<3
:Quote:
Love doesn't make
The world go round.
Love is what makes
The ride worthwhile.
:Picture:
Sunday, October 31, 2010
I'll Be Next to you and You'll Be Right there Next to Me
So, in an attempt to not have only one post in October...here we go.
My cat just farted on me.
Sometimes I feel like things are looking up. For the most part everything is ok, but I keep hitting these giant bumps in the road that are driving me crazy. But I have amazing friends and an awesome boyfriend and a roof over my head so maybe I should just stop complaining all the time. I came to the conclusion the other day that I am sending way too much negative energy out into the universe, and that could possibly be my problem.
I will work on this.
Halloween is my favorite holiday ever. I love dressing up, especially with a bunch of people who also love to dress up. Last night was the annual drumline Halloween party. Stockboy (who probably needs a new name for a few reasons) and I were Peter Pan and Tinker bell, the dark versions. Gay lover #1 and her boy were Buddy Zombie and Mary Tyler Gore. Super amazing. And Gay Lover #2 and two of our friends were the powerpuff girls. Super cute. The party was pretty fun. It was cold outside though, and that's not very good when you're wearing a tiny dress.
I'm hungry.
Bestie is going to have a baby. I'm kind of excited for her, because I know she will be a great mommy. I'm not completely sure how she feels about it yet, because baby daddy isn't completely on board, but I told her I'd be her baby daddy. And she still has a while to completely be happy about it.
Stockboy <3 <3 <3
So, a new name for him because
1. He isn't a stock boy anymore.
2. He is way too important to have a name like that.
3. He is definitely something different to me than just a stock boy.
So...Lover? Love? My love? SuperLoverBoy. Indeed.
So SuperLoverBoy and I are amazing :))))
Reasons I cannot quite disclose yet. Super top secret until a date in the future when they will be shouted to the world.
*
:Poetic Moment:
Wipe my tears
and hold me tight
There's nothing more I want
Than to be with you tonight
:Quote:
You're wondering if I want you to
I want you to
I swear it's true
Without you
My heart is blue.
GO!
:Picture:
My cat just farted on me.
Sometimes I feel like things are looking up. For the most part everything is ok, but I keep hitting these giant bumps in the road that are driving me crazy. But I have amazing friends and an awesome boyfriend and a roof over my head so maybe I should just stop complaining all the time. I came to the conclusion the other day that I am sending way too much negative energy out into the universe, and that could possibly be my problem.
I will work on this.
Halloween is my favorite holiday ever. I love dressing up, especially with a bunch of people who also love to dress up. Last night was the annual drumline Halloween party. Stockboy (who probably needs a new name for a few reasons) and I were Peter Pan and Tinker bell, the dark versions. Gay lover #1 and her boy were Buddy Zombie and Mary Tyler Gore. Super amazing. And Gay Lover #2 and two of our friends were the powerpuff girls. Super cute. The party was pretty fun. It was cold outside though, and that's not very good when you're wearing a tiny dress.
I'm hungry.
Bestie is going to have a baby. I'm kind of excited for her, because I know she will be a great mommy. I'm not completely sure how she feels about it yet, because baby daddy isn't completely on board, but I told her I'd be her baby daddy. And she still has a while to completely be happy about it.
Stockboy <3 <3 <3
So, a new name for him because
1. He isn't a stock boy anymore.
2. He is way too important to have a name like that.
3. He is definitely something different to me than just a stock boy.
So...Lover? Love? My love? SuperLoverBoy. Indeed.
So SuperLoverBoy and I are amazing :))))
Reasons I cannot quite disclose yet. Super top secret until a date in the future when they will be shouted to the world.
*
:Poetic Moment:
Wipe my tears
and hold me tight
There's nothing more I want
Than to be with you tonight
:Quote:
You're wondering if I want you to
I want you to
I swear it's true
Without you
My heart is blue.
GO!
:Picture:
Friday, October 1, 2010
Home is Where the Heart is
In my fiction class, my teacher was talking about origins and people writing about where they're from. Then she asked everyone in the class where the consider themselves to be from. Some said Texas. Some said specific cities like Dallas or Houston. Others were from other states like California or Kansas. Well...I didn't really feel like I had an answer. I lived in Utah for ten years, and now I live in Texas. I spent eight years in Alvarado for school, and now I'm in Fort Worth for school. But I don't necessarily consider any of those places to be "where I'm from." So where am I from?
I'm from my mom's house, wherever that may be at the time. I've lived in three different places with my mom. The brown duplex I remember even though I was only two. That house with the maple tree on Chatterleigh road. And now in the homesteads. I'm from my family and where I feel comfortable. Whether that be some random place with friends, the apartment with Bestie, or chillin in Gay Lover #1's room. I'm from wherever I'm talking about when I say "I want to go home."
I'm kind of hating my life right now. Everything keeps going wrong and my stuff keeps turning up missing. This time it's my house keys. What. The. Fuck. Who steals house keys and leaves the truck keys? Especially when they don't where the fuck I live and my truck is in the goddamn parking lot. Then I realize that Crazy Lady had some of my shit before she moved out and now I'll probably never see it again. I feel like there's no point anymore. All I do is wake up and do the same shit I did the day before and it never adds up to anything.
I'm a mouse in a maze looking for the cheese, but the scientists forgot to put it at the finish line.
And I don't know what I keep doing wrong. I feel like such a fuck up and I can't ever do anything right. Not even with Stockboy. Like right now...I have no idea what I did wrong...but I feel like everything is messed up. And I just want to know what's going through his head, but if I ask, he says nothing and he says he's fine..But I don't know. Because he's being...different. I don't know how to explain it, but I feel like everything is just off and the only answer is for me to jump off a bridge.
*
:Poetic Moment:
What a world we live in
Where everything gets handed to those
Who don't deserve it
:Quote:
Click your heels together three times
And go fuck yourself
:Picture:
I'm from my mom's house, wherever that may be at the time. I've lived in three different places with my mom. The brown duplex I remember even though I was only two. That house with the maple tree on Chatterleigh road. And now in the homesteads. I'm from my family and where I feel comfortable. Whether that be some random place with friends, the apartment with Bestie, or chillin in Gay Lover #1's room. I'm from wherever I'm talking about when I say "I want to go home."
I'm kind of hating my life right now. Everything keeps going wrong and my stuff keeps turning up missing. This time it's my house keys. What. The. Fuck. Who steals house keys and leaves the truck keys? Especially when they don't where the fuck I live and my truck is in the goddamn parking lot. Then I realize that Crazy Lady had some of my shit before she moved out and now I'll probably never see it again. I feel like there's no point anymore. All I do is wake up and do the same shit I did the day before and it never adds up to anything.
I'm a mouse in a maze looking for the cheese, but the scientists forgot to put it at the finish line.
And I don't know what I keep doing wrong. I feel like such a fuck up and I can't ever do anything right. Not even with Stockboy. Like right now...I have no idea what I did wrong...but I feel like everything is messed up. And I just want to know what's going through his head, but if I ask, he says nothing and he says he's fine..But I don't know. Because he's being...different. I don't know how to explain it, but I feel like everything is just off and the only answer is for me to jump off a bridge.
*
:Poetic Moment:
What a world we live in
Where everything gets handed to those
Who don't deserve it
:Quote:
Click your heels together three times
And go fuck yourself
:Picture:
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