Round and Round and Round We Go

I don't know what to do with myself. I feel stuck and surrounded by people who are moving quickly past me.

Roomie and Roomie's GF are never around anymore. They made friends with random people and are always with them. Makes me feel stupid for deciding to stay at school until Friday to spend time with them. I could go home tomorrow instead. *sigh*

I saw Miss Charming today. And I'm sad to say I know I'm being stupid. She doesn't make me smile like an idiot...so, I'm trying to force something that isn't there. It makes me consider changing her name, but she is still charming, so it will stay for now.
And this is not giving up. This is just coming to the conclusion I would have made eventually when I discovered it wasn't really what I wanted. I have been asked random questions by my lovely new friend that have made me realize this. I don't smile all stupid when her name pops up on my phone. I don't think about her all the time. I'm not nervous around her. She's my friend. That's all it will be.

I want to be trusted with secrets too. I want to be trusted by the people that I trust. But I can't force that. And it just kind of hurts I guess.

Today I'm feelin kinda low.
Hopefully Pirate dinner will cheer me up.

Miss Too-Afraid-to-Jump texted me. We talked for a minute. But I'm not letting this mean anything. Because it probably doesn't.
*

Habits list Cont.

• I eat when I'm bored

:Poetic Moment:
I look in your eyes
And hope to see something.
That something, though, is the
One thing I know
Isn't there.

:Quote:
I think I'll go anti-love
Really, who needs it?
Butterflies in your tummy
And heart skippin beats.
That can't be safe.

:Picture: