Lost, Broke, and a Few Other Things that Mean I'm Trash

I don't know what I'm doing. I want to move out. Technically, I am moving out in about ten hours. However, I'm  completely broke. I don't know what to do. I've applied to any job I can think of that doesn't involve me driving all over the place. But there's only so much I can do. Applications, e-mails, and phone calls only get me so far. I need to have at least $400 in three weeks for first months rent. And that's at least. That covers the rent and water. I don't know what electricity will be like, but that's about another hundred, I'm sure. And gas. And internet. And groceries. Fuck. My. Life.
Today I asked my mom for some money and she said she's broke until Friday. That's normal. But then she said "I'm still trying to figure out a way for you to go back to school." What does that mean? That if we don't find a way to get out of debt soon I have to drop out? I feel like shit. This is all my fault. I'm the reason my family is behind on EVERYTHING. I'm such a fucking screw up. Why didn't I just go to UTA? English major. What the fuck ever. But no, I had to go to TCU and waste every dime my parents have. Stupid stupid me.
I need  about ten bucks for gas tomorrow and I'm afraid I'm going to break down when I ask my mom for it. But how else am I supposed to move? I really want to wait to move, but we already paid to hold the apartment and we told them we would move in this Thursday. Bestie doesn't want to wait, and I understand. She wants to get out of her house. I want to get out of my house too, but I just don't know if I can.
I'm scared I'm going to ruin my life over this. Ruin everyone's life.
I just hate myself.
*

:Poetic Moment:
When all the world is on your side
When the day finally seems to be looking up
When maybe, just maybe, there's hope.
Something fucks it up.

:Quote:
And suddenly
There's a light at the end of the tunnel
When you were getting
Pretty sick of the dark

:Picture: