Stockboy and I have hung out a bit. There are no real words to describe it. Which means I'm full of them.
I'm not really sure what I'm doing right now. I can see how much he likes me already, and I think I'm attracted to his attraction. I like him being around, too.
He says all the right things and he does all the right things. But I'm not sure if I'm really...feeling it...or if I just wish I was.
There's nothing wrong with him, which means there's a bunch wrong with me.
But I am kinda getting the feeling that he's a little clingy. We aren't really even doing anything official and he's being a little...I dunno. Not what I'd expect after hanging out only a few times.
But he's cute.
And funny.
And he loves my smile.
And then there are those lovely middle of the night visits to the emergency room that leave you shook up and wanting to die. Or wanting to kill people. Or both.
And then there are the moments where you get the phone call to cancel it all out.
And I just want to cry all the time and I'm feeling really pathetic lately.
I'm so tired. I nearly fall asleep at work. And when I'm driving. The two worst places to fall asleep.
I need a second job. Family Dollar is cutting back my hours little by little and it just won't be ok when school starts. So I applied at Taco Bell. I can work from 10 til 3 am. Or later. Or earlier depending on my Family Dollar schedule. I hope it comes through. I really need this.
MakesMeSmileAllStupid texted me the morning of the emergency room visit. It kind of made me feel better about all the nonsense that happened. I hope she comes back to visit soon.
Got a new tattoo finally. Super pretty. I love it. I was on pain pills when I got it so it didn't hurt too bad. I want another one. I love tattoos so much.
*
:Poetic Moment:
When the whole world
Seems like it's falling apart
And you don't know
Who to hold on to
Just wrap your arms around me
And I'll keep you safe
:Quote:
It always rains the hardest
On the people who deserve the sun
:Picture:
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